MissLead

Dear Harriet,

Lately, all of my friends (all of whom I respect) have all had differing opinions on the same matter. It's not even so much what the situation is so much as it's confusing me that everyone seems to have a different suggestion in how to handle it. The people-pleaser in me wants to follow all of their advice, and the conflict-avoider in me wants to take none of their advice.

But I respect and love all of these people! How am I supposed to know who's advice to follow?

MissLead



Dear MissLead,

I've got some troubling questions for you this time.

1. Are you sure that all of them are your true friends?
2. Are you sure they're all giving you Godly advice?
3. Are you willing to spend less time with them if they are "bad company"?

While this situation may be a "gray" area, I have to say it isn't very likely that four opinions are all four right opinions.

Have you prayed about it? What does God say? What do your parents say?

Put your emotions aside for a moment (or longer, depending on how thick-headed you decide to be!) and think about this critically. Is it even a question that needs to be answered? Is their any action that you need to take? And if so; take it! Stop avoiding it!

And while we're on the subject of avoiding things, stop avoiding conflict. While it's good to be a peacemaker, and wrong to stir up dissension, it never helps to put off something that needs to happen. It will most likely make things worse.

You know I'm right.

And finally, remember what you just read. Peter says "above all, love one another fervently"

Start thinking about what real love, true love is. And then add a fervently onto that. Simply concentrate on loving God. Then devote yourself to loving your brothers and sisters in Christ fervently. I think some problems of your "problems" may just solve themselves.

Harriet

Miss Rebellious

Dear Harriet,

Just a quick question today. Why are parents so frustrating?

Miss Rebellious


Dear Miss Rebellious,

Just a quick answer. Why are you so frustratable?

Harriet

Miss Analytical

Dear Harriet,

What does it mean when....

the kid you sat by in your english class says to another kid, "this is her," as they watch you walk down the hall?

when you're holding one of your really good friends hands during prayer then they don't let go right away after the prayer?

when the guy you used to like said that he was happy for me and the guy i was with-even though it didn't come up naturally in the conversation?

when one of your guy friends goes out of his way to find a place for you to sleep after the play because he knows you had a rough show and have a splitting headache?

you were dating a guy and all of a sudden this girl and you became really good friends, then you broke up with the guy and now the girl and the guy are going out?

Miss Analytical



Dear Miss Analytical,

I would say, steer clear of that kid. Don't be mean, but be polite.

That question I can't answer. It could be that he just needed a hand to hold right then. Or it could be that he didn't realize that's what he was doing. Then again, maybe he just wanted to know what it was like to hold your hand.

He most likely just wanted you to know-or to think- that everything was over between you. Or he wanted you to think it was so you wouldn't feel bad about his presence around you and your boyfriend.

He's a gentleman, and you're lucky to have such a friend!!!

That one's full of sketch. I'm not sure about that....still, think the best, or at least act like you think the best.

Harriet

Miss Confuzzled

Dear Harriet,

My two older sisters are gone, now. It feels so strange and lonely at my house! I find myself wanting to be away for long periods of time, not wanting to have to deal with the pressure of being a good older sister, extra chores, and lightening the load for my mom.

Lately I've been scared about what I'm supposed to DO with my life. All of my friends seem to either already be in college, or sure of what they want to do. I'm a senior! I feel like I'm wasting my time with menial things when I should be preparing for the future!

I also haven't been writing any fiction lately. It confuses me, because that's been my passion, to weave stories, bringing to life characters that live and breathe in my imagination. But now it seems like both my inspiration and motivation are gone...

And finally, shallow though it may be, I ache for someone - a guy, of course - to admire me...like me. Is that completely self-centered and vain??

...lindy.

Dear Lindy,

Change is inevitable! You knew this day would come, and you've even been prepared for it by having the *oldest child* position for short periods of time. All you have to do is step up to the plate and accept the responsibility. As an added bonus, you'll feel a wonderful sense of satisfaction in the extra things you do, knowing that it's above and beyond what's required. And make sure you don't slack off! Sure, spending time away from the daily grind is important, but that doesn't mean you should shirk your duties. Work hard, play hard. And enjoy it! There are many ways you can make it fun!

As to your sisters? You aren't losing them forever! And you can email them, and talk to them on the phone. Don't think that just because they're away you don't have to keep up the relationship.

ALL of your friends? You know there are many who are just as confused about the future as you are. No need to get self pity in on this! Seek God. He knows your future. Ultimately, what are you supposed to be doing? Getting to know Him. Loving Him. Serving Him. Glorifying Him. Now does this mean you should just sit back and do nothing? Of course not. Look in to things. Try new things. See what talents God wants you to use for him, develop them! Soon, God will open a door. Or at least a window!

Why haven't you written? If you're afraid of failing; that's no excuse. Write through the unintelligible paragraphs and inconsistent characters. You will learn so much! If you are too lazy, then just get your butt in the chair and type. If you have no inspiration, copy off of someone else's story!! Just start WRITING! You know you love it - start doing it!

Every girl longs to be admired. It's how God made you. But don't start relying on the affection of guys to quench the thirst of being accepted. Remember your friends, your family, all who accept you for who you are. And remember God, who thinks you're beautiful. Let God handle the guy for you. Maybe your guy is just blind right now. It's possible he's watching you right now, waiting for God's timing to act (ok, not like a stalker in a window, you know I mean it figuratively!). Or maybe you haven't met him yet! Wherever he is, don't doubt the fact that he will find you! God has it all worked out.

Harriet

My Dear Harriet

I gleaned this idea from a book that my friend lent to me called, Blue Heart Blessed. The main character in the book, Daisy, journals to "Harriet." And after Daisy has finished writing to "Harriet," she pens what she knows "Harriet" would say.

Dear Harriet,

I'm not really liking this new school I'm going to. It's nothing like my old school and I miss my friends, teachers, and just the familiarity of it all. I'm not sure if graduating early is worth all this...

Lately, I've been having this huge desire to go to North Carolina. I just love it there. The beautiful and lush countryside always does me good. As Anne Shirley would say, it has so much "scope for the imagination." And it's true!

In my new story, which I haven't titled yet (don't judge me!), there is a girl named Anna. I want her to be very unique but also very personable and realistic. It's something I've been working on in my head this past week.

There's this person that is driving me to drink! Not drink. Let's just say they are driving me nuts! They contacted me about two weeks ago, and though I received it right away, I didn't respond until the next day because I had to think it over. Is that bad?

Mel



Dear Mel,

Give the poor school a chance! You've only been there two days and you're already complaining? Graduating a year early is your goal, and, as with any goal, it's going to be a tough road. But soon enough, you'll find you're familiar with everything and everyone and you'll forget how much you've missed you're old school. But it does give you a different heart towards new kids, doesn't it?

Ah, North Carolina is truly a charming place. However, remember it's not all clouds and clover. As you will find anywhere, there are heartaches, tragedies, jerks, rich, poor, good, bad, and ugly. Remember, you can find good and bad no matter where you go.

Well, looks like you've got some work ahead of you! And NAME THAT STORY young lady!

No, it's not bad that you didn't contact her right away. It's probably a good thing, for you might have misspoken and blown the entire friendship to smithereens.

Harriet